Dealing with disagreements - 28 July 2009 |
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I spotted an intriguing notice near the entrance of a church I visited recently. It detailed ten ‘Principles of Conduct’ to be followed by staff in the event of disagreements.
The page was divided into two columns. One column contained the text of Matthew 18:15-20, while the other gave ten principles apparently designed to spell out some of the contemporary implications of Jesus’ teaching. These are well worth thinking about, especially in a context where people are working closely with each other day by day. Here they are:
1. If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).
2. If I have a problem with you, I’ll come to you (privately).
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. (I’ll do the same for you.)
4. If someone consistently will not come to me, say, ‘Let’s go and see him together. I am sure he will see us about this.’ (I’ll do the same for you.)
5. Be careful how you interpret me – I would rather do that myself. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misrepresent intentions.
6. I will be careful how I interpret you.
7. If it’s confidential, don’t tell. If you or anyone else comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell, unless (a) the person is going to harm themselves, (b) the person is going to harm someone else, (c) it involves a child who has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same from you.
8. I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
9. I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated; do not let others manipulate you. Do not let others try and manipulate me through you.
10. When in doubt, just say it. If I can answer it without misrepresenting something or breaking a confidence, I will.
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Posted by Steve Jeffery · Topics: Godliness, Minister's Blog